The Mommy Friendship Graveyard

Why are moms finding motherhood so lonely?

There’s nothing like trying to meet goals, have a thriving family, and glowing skin all while maintaining intimate friendships. I do not recall any book or mom pep talk mentioning isolation during pregnancy and parenting. However, once I expressed how claustrophobic I felt, the floodgates opened! It was like there was a secret club and I just used the password to unlock the door for admittance.

I noticed a few things. There were the “Let me know if you need anything” offers. As a mom, I was running on fumes so I didn’t know what I needed! Some others failed to actually show up. My emotions were multilayered as I showed up big during their life moments. I learned that I deserved healthy support. We grow where we are nourished. I also learned some effects of self isolation. As I was overwhelmed managing motherhood and career, I retreated. If I had a moment to myself, I was taking it. I chose moments of solitude over connection. The gap in conversations became longer. This created a new dilemma, I didn’t know what to say to unpack or unearth it all. The more time that passed, the more uncomfortable calling or inviting felt. I decided to respect the universe instead of my inclination to try to grasp on firmer as a survival response.

Friendships die through neglect and a thriving relationship must have communication. There is no substitute for conversation. Talking situations over, discussing thoughts, and having a dialogue is all part of the friendship dynamic.
Often silence is what will water the wrong seeds in a relationship. Do not let that happen.Talk it out.

Grief is love’s shadow. So as I mourned and still had many questions, I was able to find gratitude for life’s paths and crossings. It is important to forgive ourselves. We give of ourselves as we know how to do. We show up from the space where we are nestled. Light work is life’s work so the inner reflection is the evidence of growth. With the most candid, empathic version of ourselves, trust the universe to maintain flow for what is meant.

What I Learned:

  • Friendships die from what is unsaid (lack of communication).
  • The need to be right shouldn’t be greater than the need for connection.
  • Sometimes, you can repair and other times the lessons propel you to a better self.

UnNesting Tips

  • Don’t expect others to read your mind.
  • Voice your needs, offense, and concerns with empathy.
  • Express your desire to improve the situation early.

Stay in the light within healthy relationships that mutually foster and challenge the other to grow! It is your time for harvest! I am grateful my personal experiences and professional expertise allow me to support others navigating their needs and self identity. I can help you not just “carve out” time, but to find harmony within your life. Imagine actually lessening the load instead of managing ways to bear it. Be encouraged.

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